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Wooden Cross


On the Bus ...

A few years ago, I had a dream that has stuck with me very vividly. In this dream, I entered a bus. This was like a tour bus as though I was going to be traveling on it for a while. As I came on the bus, I saw a little boy standing there. I noticed that he was wearing a diaper, but he was too old not to be potty trained. I looked around and those standing around him seemed oblivious to the fact that this child still should not be in diapers. I bent down on one knee to the young boy and said to him, “You are not where you need to be in life,” and I pointed to his diaper. I said, “These folks can’t take you, but I won’t force you. I will only help you if you want me to guide you. Do you want me to help you?” The little boy smiled and said, “Yes.”

The Dream Flashes Forward
I was at the front of the bus; and suddenly, I hear a loud scream followed by crying. I rushed back to find human feces all over the little boy who was crying loudly non-stop. He was crying out, “I tried to do it, I really tried.” Nonstop, he exclaimed this while tears poured out of his little eyes. I went right up to him ignoring the mess and picked him up. One thing I noticed was that I wasn’t convulsing or near vomiting myself. The stench was horrid; and even in real life, it would make me almost vomit. Yet in my dream, I noticed it didn’t matter. The little boy continued to scream out even as I held him. I softly whispered in his ear, “Shhhhhh, it’s going to be all right. I love you, and I’m here.” He just continued to loudly scream, “I tried, I really tried. I just can’t do it.” I continued in a small, quiet voice, “Shhhhhh, I love you. It’s going to be okay.” He continued repeating his words over and over, but slowly he lowered his voice and wrapped his arms around my neck as I continued repeating my words.

When he finally quit chanting his words of failure and his tears were down to a sniffle, I laid him down on a table and began to clean him up with wet towels.

The Dream Flashes Forward Once Again
The little boy comes running out screaming with pure joy and delight, “I did it, I did it.” Everyone started to clap and shout with celebration. I grabbed the M&Ms™ and rewarded the little boy for the accomplishment. Then, while everyone was still celebrating, I pulled him aside. I bent down on one knee and said, “You did well, little one. There is still more to learn — a new level to achieve. Are you ready to go there?”

I woke up from that dream, and I was crying. As tears fell from my eyes to my ears, I prayed, “Lord, what does this dream mean?” My eyes closed, and I began to dream the dream all over again, except this time there was a male voice that gave me commentary. He said, “In this dream, I am you, and you are the little boy. I came to you. You were not where you needed to be in your life and those around you couldn’t help you. So I knelt down and looked you in your eyes and said, ‘I can help you, but I will not force you. If you want me to I will.’ You said ‘yes’ to me.

“Then you try to do things on your own. You do things without me and inevitably get into a mess. When you finally cry out, I rush to you. Even though the stench of your mess (sin) is great, I do not convulse. I ignore the mess and grab hold of you. You cry out loudly that ‘you tried,’ while I just hold you and in a still, quiet voice tell you that I love you and it’s going to be all right. When you finally quiet down, it is then that I lay you down in a place of peace, and I clean up the mess.

“When you reach the mountaintop of success, having overcome obstacles and finally feel the joy of accomplishment, I celebrate with you, and I enjoy rewarding and blessing you. Then, I will pull you aside, bending down to look you in the eye and say, ‘Well done. There is still more to do. Are you ready to go to the next level?’ ”

The Next Morning
The dream as still fresh in my mind, and I began to ponder it. It seems we all fit into this dream. For some of us, Jesus is kneeling before us asking us to except Him and His gift of Salvation. For others, He is asking if we’d like to go to the next level in our life and that those around us,, or the ways we’ve tried, can’t take us there. He won’t ever force Himself on us, but is asking, “Do you want me/my help?” How do we answer?

For some, we’ve accepted Him and His help but, somewhere along the way, tried to do things our way or without Him. Now, once again, we find ourselves in the middle of a big, smelly mess. We cry out, “Why can’t I do this? I tried, I really tried.” God rushes to us, ignoring the stench of our mess, and holds us. As we cry out loudly, He in a still, quiet voice, telling us “I love you and it’s going to be all right.” When we finally quiet down and wrap our arms around Abba Father (Hebrew term for ‘Daddy’), He cleans up our mess.

Finally, some of us have arrived on the mountaintop of success. We’ve had a breakthrough and have overcome obstacles. God, the angels, and those around us celebrate with us. We are seeing the blessings, and He’s right there enjoying them with us. Then, He will pull us aside and say, “Well done. There is a new level to go. Are you ready?”

by Elizabeth Varian
Copyright 2008, Elizabeth Varian

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